With New Year’s resolutions now in “active mode”, lets remember that they are generally short lived. Not to be a bummer Billy, but why is it that so many of us make plans only to have them decelerate after a few months. Its not a secret that you should purchase state of the art gym equipment in the month of March when all the fervor of plans for losing weight decline to the point of people shedding more equipment than pounds. This leads me to my point. There is a significant change in outcome when we change our approach to how our demands are being fulfilled.
Planning your life while trying to control all the variables is self-centered and operates under a mental construct of, “It must be done this way because that is the right way”. This language has a strong smell of ego, and immediately separates you from the universal network of synchronicity. It may be based on good intention, but good intentions are generally extrinsic idealistic motives supplied by social norms. Social norms are biased by status quo mentality, and status quo mentality is based on the fear of change. So if you plan to change, you are met with a very sour unconscious resistance and your plans for change are short lived. This is because this kind of motivation to change is fear based and therefore not in resonance with your heart. Permanent change can only happen when fear is no longer a primer. Luckily this pickle of a paradox is relieved with a modified approach to planning!
Too often we treat our lives like some project that must be accomplished on a deadline. It doesn’t work, at least not in the long term. Let’s be honest about why we want change in the first place. We want to change because we believe we will be better, happier, more this, or more that. There is nothing wrong with that, but we don’t get there through sheer projection of our ego-centered will without completely missing the self improvement bus. Our will must be in symphony with the one song or uni-verse by a special vehicle called our hearts!
In essence, making plans without controlling specifics takes much more faith because it holds intent without making preemptive assumptions about what will be. Assumption is dangerous because it separates choice from reality through time. As our hippy friends say…it has no root in the “present moment”. Life is a rhythm and planning must be harmonious and in-step to that rhythm. Take it from a drummer, if you try to control rhythm, i.e thinking about what your limbs are doing individually, you lose the correct coordination of time interval and spacing, which in life is synchronicity and adaptation. You can control rhythm, but it will sound technical, mechanical, and computerized. Essentially it sounds faked or inorganic with a piece of music. These are the people that on the outside seem to have everything going for them but are mysteriously unhappy. Its the result of extending your will through the ego’s desires. You may manifest the intended outcome, but it doesn’t fulfill your true desire for happiness. In talking to people living in this space of control, they will voice concern that they “feel stuck” or “out of synch”. It is no surprise that in our culture this happens around the age of 40 when the material basis for your “perfect life” has been secured, but somehow failed to manifest happiness.
Letting go and feeling rhythm rather than thinking in rhythmic detail allows the perspective that experience (music of life) is the teacher trying to help you understand movement through theme and variation. Translated to our life analogy, experience is the teacher of understanding personal choices through free-will in the context of change. This is why it is human nature to try to seek overt control over experience by managing details rather than working to understand our unconscious motives through introspection and allowing change to manifest unhindered by personal attachments or aversions.
We assume that by controlling minute details of our life we will avoid negative experience, but this creates a feeling of vulnerability and defensiveness and what you are doing instead is creating a strong barrier between you and your ultimate potential as a human being. We become scared of letting go, because we have learned that life is traumatic. Life is traumatic because we choose to see emotions like anger, sadness, grief etc as a detriment to our happiness rather then seeing them as a temporary intense or scary moment in a piece of music that will ultimately convey something greater than its individual parts. When you attach happiness to emotional states, happiness will always seem fleeting. When you attach happiness to growth, and maturity of the spirit through whatever experience is necessary to evolve, happiness is yours forever.
While making plans with the head and making plans with the heart are often in conflict, they don’t have to be. Unfortunately, in the majority of people, the heart works for the head, rather then the head working for the heart. New beginnings are exciting because they offer a break from the rigidity of the mechanical life we seem to fall in to from our self perpetuating fear of fully participating in life through our hearts. Making plans through the heart allows enough room for the universe to work with you in how the specifics will align. This way when synchronistic events come your way, you are able to make a choice in the present moment that operates with fuller connectedness to the whole.